A big part of relieving worry is accepting that no matter what you do bad things do and will happen. It all comes down to being comfortable with uncertainty.
There are many ways of doing this, but consciously recognizing it and labeling is as such then allowing yourself to be okay with the possibility of the bad thing happening.
If it is a big worry sometimes you need to make it as specific as possible. Like getting fired. What exact steps would happen? What would your boss say specifically? And is that exact scenario likely to happen?
If you're still having trouble do the above, but at the end change who its about, to a co-worker for example, then ask again is this a likely scenario. And if it is then the outcome won't be that bad. If it isn't then you also have your answer.
Another is to describe the worry in detail to another person because to describe it you need to make it specific and linearize it. This is why talking it/rubber ducking out works so well. They can also point out gaps and whatnot. Usually my the time your done the worry is gone.
Many friends feel like they're not actually helping here, but just listening is the help and it makes a big difference. On the flip side you may feel like you're wasting the other person’s time because at the end there's nothing to do. His is also false, most people are happy to help even if they don't know what they did.
Anxiety/worry usually comes from unexamined fears which throw every possible bad result into your head. But pinning down specific stories you can eliminate many of them.
I would recommend therapy. It's helped me loads. Meditation can also help (but if you suspect you had a traumatic childhood, discuss meditation first with your therapist).
The reason I suggest therapy is because it can be a number of reasons for the underlying anxiety. I think it's mostly a symptom of something else, rather than a standalone issue.
Therapy is great, but it can be very slow to get started because there can be a long ramp up process.
There are many techniques that don't require a counselor/therapist. I highly recommend the youtube channel healthygamer_gg. There's a great community and many suggestions for well understood steps you can take on your own.
Also, realizing you're not he only one feeling this way can help a TON!
I've participated in the group coaching program offered by healthygamer.gg (I like what they do) and I'd like to share my POV:
For people with deep seated emotional/behavioral problems, I would strongly recommend against it. The coaches in the program aren't trained to be therapists, they're only there to facilitate discussions and prevent subgrouping. The kind of work involved with trauma and neglect is much better handled by a licensed therapist. Can't speak to individual coaching, but I imagine it's similar based on what I've asked about the coach's training. The only upside to the group coaching is it's cheap at $30 for a 90min session each week.
After fixing a lot of problems in my life, I joined the program expecting to talk to other people that are 90% of the way to getting their shit together but most of the people in group had much deeper, unresolved dysfunctions that __really__ brought me down. By all means, reach out and seek companionship in hard times, but individual therapy yields much stronger results.
Yeah, I would say I was worried about that too. I haven’t participated, but that was my sense too. Group coaching is valuable, but it needs to be the right group with everyone working on the same things. So screening is super important here.
That said his videos are excellent. He really knows his stuff and can help people start down the path improvement or to resolve simpler issues, but for deep seated issues individual therapy, not coaching, is probably a better choice.
Yeah, my impression is Dr. K is trying to get a lot of mal-adjusted people to start down he road to being emotionally healthy, but there’s such a pent-up need for this it's going to be a shitshow for a long time. So there's going to be a lot of toxicity coming out in those group session and if you're beyond the very beginning of your journey avoid them.
You might be interested in reading The Mindful Path through Worry and Rumination by Dr. Sameet Kumar. I've read it multiple times and worked through it with many of my friends. A game changer for me. He makes a great case, backed up by scientific evidence, for a regular mindfulness practice can help with worry and rumination.
People see something like this and say "wow, <basic human emotion/instinct> isn't doing anything for me, how can I get rid of it?" and it becomes a sort of self-gaslighting. You're worrying about the future because it serves a function, or has served a function in the past. Find out what it's doing for you, and figure out something else you can do instead. Or maybe come to the conclusion that it actually is helping you, and accept that part of yourself.
Maybe you can acknowledge your worry, and rather than ruminating on it and letting it eat at you, you can come up with a plan to deal with the thing that's worrying you. Maybe that plan is to wait until it specifically requires your action, and give yourself permission to not worry about it for now.
