For a couple years I practiced meditation from 30 minutes to a couple hours per day. I was introduced to it when I started practicing the Wim Hof method for health reasons. I tried to adhere to a zen style of emptiness. It made me extremely happy, greatly increased my satisfaction with life and improved my relationship with my wife.
The downside for me came when I was driving or in public. I became very anxious because I would sometimes feel my thoughts drifting away as they did when I meditated and I feared I would lose my ability to control myself. I had some mild anxiety prior to meditating (never while driving tough) but it was greatly amplified during this time. I eventually stopped meditating due to some unrelated circumstances (basically not having enough free time), and my anxiety virtually disappeared. My overall happiness has decreased and I have resumed some self destructive behaviors (such as occasional binge drinking) . Not sure if I will ever pick it up again. I would probably be much better off if I had some actual instruction and someone to discuss these issues with.
Since you mention your happiness a coupe times I wonder: Can you explain how you go about gauging, assessing, calculating or feeling how happy your are?
Since you have practiced meditation regularly for a couple years, what do you think about the idea that chasing happiness is also something to let go of?
The downside for me came when I was driving or in public. I became very anxious because I would sometimes feel my thoughts drifting away as they did when I meditated and I feared I would lose my ability to control myself. I had some mild anxiety prior to meditating (never while driving tough) but it was greatly amplified during this time. I eventually stopped meditating due to some unrelated circumstances (basically not having enough free time), and my anxiety virtually disappeared. My overall happiness has decreased and I have resumed some self destructive behaviors (such as occasional binge drinking) . Not sure if I will ever pick it up again. I would probably be much better off if I had some actual instruction and someone to discuss these issues with.